Humour: A Tale of Two Cows

[Socialism]
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

[Communism]
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

[Fascism]
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

[Nazism]
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

[Traditional Capitalism]
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

[Surrealism]
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

[An North American Corporation]
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

[A German Corporation]
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

[A British Corporation]
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

[A Welsh Corporation]
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

[A Japanese Corporation]
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

[A Chinese Corporation]
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

[A French Corporation]
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

[An Indian Corporation]
You have two cows.
You worship them.

[An Italian Corporation]

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.